What the hell happened to my sleeping schedule?
Earlier in the semester, I’d get out of work around 9 or 10pm and be ready to pass out on the couch. I’d wake up around 5 or 6am and watch the beautiful sunrise emerge from its 12-hour rest. I LOVED waking up to the sun. It was energizing. It felt natural. Peaceful.
NOW HOW DID IT ALL GO TO SHIT!?
I know part of it has to do with my irregular sleeping schedule. I know a LOT of it has to do with the fact that I’m even blogging on this computer right now. Much of it has to do with even hopping on the computer late night in the first place. There’s a reason why for months I tuned computers out for most of the week and limited it only to the times I’d go to school and visit the computer lab in the middle of the day.
I basically ripped this tip from Tim Ferriss and modified it a bit: don’t hop on the computer first thing in the morning. It’ll fuck with your schedule. Don’t get on at night. It’ll cause insomnia. Do it in the middle of the day after you’ve taken care of some of your stuff and for 15-30 minutes at a time.
On the flipside, something interesting’s been happening lately as well. A deeper look at my Zen and Kabbalah and interpersonal communication studies have brought about a common element in my mind that can be expressed in lay terms. (WOW such verbiage! lol)
Here’s what I’m sayin’. I’ve come to realize that everything out there… How to Win Friends and Influence People, finding your true self, finding “The Truth,” “The Way,” “The Light,” and all sorts of other rehashed garbage out there… all they really speak of is bringing out your personality. Stop shackling yourself. Stop holding back. Be your best self outside of social norms.
The Legend of Awkward Teddie
Today I mentioned to a coworker that I’ve realized… in every job I’ve had, it takes me about 6 months to become socially comfortable. I don’t know why that is. Maybe I’m just observing. Maybe I’m adapting. Maybe I’m distracted. Whatever it is, I’m just overly quiet, not doing anything, or seemingly in my own world (which isn’t far from the truth). The odd thing is that when I’m out at night meeting strangers, I’m pretty open and friendly. Maybe it’s coz I never have to see most of them again.
But now, for example, I’ve been teaching for 3 years. Everyone there is now pretty much AWKWARD, and they have me to thank for that. My usual humor is very non-verbal. It isn’t really based on jokes and clever wit, but rather odd behaviors. There was a time in between lessons, the teachers would gather in the teacher’s lounge and we’d discuss random shit, and eventually we’d all calm down (or I’d dominate the conversation and shut up), and everything becomes weird looks and funny noises. It was a strange, comforting awkwardness. We were all conscious of it and doing it on purpose. I love it. Every time.
THIS DOESN’T WORK EVERYWHERE!
It takes a while for others to catch on unless they’re around me and things are low-energy and calm. My latest job is more on the fast-paced side of things. It’s not all the time that people slow down and really just soak in the present serenity. But then I guess that’s also hard to do when you have silly Italian music playing. :/
I’m tired now, and I’m about to miss class again. But before I go…
Some of the stuff I ranted about earlier (above)… I talked about this long ago with my guitarist, a very spiritually inclined guy himself. After Brad Blanton, Eckhart Tolle and other Zen influences, I came to lean more towards the idea of what Jesus was really saying. Whenever He’d talk about “I am the Way, the Truth, the Light” He didn’t mean for everyone to look to HIM. He meant to lead by example. He meant for each one of us, his brothers and sisters, to be able to say, “I am the Way, the Truth, the Light.” I look to myself. I create my own path. I am self-reliant, self-sufficient, and I can decide for myself what I will allow into my mind and what I will keep out.
The result is a livening and unburdening of your shoulders. A calmness in your presence. This allows you to go and be more proactive. Make plans and DO THEM. Make commitments and follow through. Eventually stacking success after success to the point of creating quite a fulfilling lifestyle. Such a vibe shines through in your face, your eyes, your smile. This presence within yourself becomes a beacon. People won’t be able to really put a finger on it. “What’s up with this guy/girl? There’s something about him/her.”
Well here’s the thing: when you take upon yourself an emotional feeling, like empathy, relaxation, or openness, and you lead by example, oftentimes others intuitively pick up on that and they follow suit. If you believe you’re comfortable, others will feel comfortable around you. If you’re weird in a good way, others may become weird in a good way when they’re with you. You ARE positivity, and others feel positive around you. YOU. GO. FIRST.
You can’t give what you don’t have. Before you can help others, you must first learn how to help yourself. Before you can lead others, you must first learn how to lead yourself. The irony? Why am I giving advice on a blog titled, “My Life’s Crazy Again”?
TeddieBe
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